AP Jumps on the Scary Chinese Imports Bandwagon

2010-01-12

Federal and state watchdogs opened a new front Monday in the campaign to keep poisons out of Chinese imports, launching inquiries into high levels of cadmium in children's jewelry while Walmart pulled many suspect items from its store shelves.

A day after The Associated Press documented the contamination in an investigative report, the top U.S. consumer safety regulator warned Asian manufacturers not to substitute other toxins for lead in children's charm bracelets and pendants.

Regulators and lawmakers reacted swiftly to the AP report, which found that some Chinese manufacturers have been using cadmium, sometimes at extraordinarily high levels. Congress clamped down on lead in those products in 2008, but cadmium is even more harmful. (Associated Press)

Holy Shit! That sounds downright scary. Bad guy Chinese factories are trying to do an end-run around American regulators by putting cadmium in jewelry after the government barred them from using lead. For shame, factories, for shame!

You tell 'em, Congressional spokeswhores!

"Parents will be outraged to learn certain jewelry makers overseas thought they could pull a fast one at the expense of our kids' safety," said Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor of Arkansas, who has championed stronger rules for children's products.

Damn straight. I think I'll run out right now to the nearest factory and beat on someone with a lead pipe (cadmium is too soft).

But before I leave the house, maybe I should read the rest of the story. The first quote above was the beginning of the AP article (the first three paragraphs). Perhaps there are other outrageous items I can read telling me about the Chinese conspiracy to poison God-fearing Americans and contaminate their precious bodily fluids.

Hmm. If patient readers go all the way down to paragraph number 17, almost the end of the story, they will learn this interesting tidbit:

The government has no restrictions on cadmium in jewelry.

You don't say? So all the outrage is about something that isn't even against the law?

But what about the children? For God's sake, think about the children!!!

Buried way down in paragraph number 18:

Children can be exposed by sucking or biting such jewelry. But without direct exposure, most people do not experience its worst effects[.]

I see. So unless you are eating this stuff, it's not really dangerous. But small children will chew on just about anything, right? What about them?

Hint to parents: stop buying jewelry for your infant/toddler, you stupid sons a bitches. Two-year-olds do not need to wear jewelry.

Problem solved. Anyone who isn't a young child who still insists on eating jewelry — you're on your own, moron. And three cheers for the AP! They took a very good bit of investigative journalism, which might result in a halfway decent product safety law, and turned the writeup into blatant fearmongering. Great job.

Tags: International Trade, U.S.-China Relations