From an excellent Wired article on gaming:

Because really, who needs people? People suck. I’m joking, of course — but only a bit. The truth is that, in online multiplayer worlds, dealing with the delightfully unpredictable behavior of "real" people can be an absolute chore. Teammates fail to show up for a raid, or they leave everyone waiting for an hour, or they log out in the middle of battle and leave you gored by a howling mob. Have you ever actually tried to play Age of Conan? It’s like the Stanford Prison Experiment in there, my friend. 

The major reason I wrote this post at all is that last sentence. That’s brilliant stuff, although the reference is slightly off. Sounds good, anyway.

Many junior associates I deal with forget that they work in a service industry. This is unfortunate because it is always important to keep in mind that lawyers are selling their knowledge to other people that lack that knowledge. P2P downloading of legal info, in a way. And it’s important to remember that people do, in fact, suck. In a big way.

People are unpredictable — agreed. Clients can turn on you in an instant due to financial constraints, conflicts of interest, personal issues, and sometimes just because they are jerks and have complete power over you.

Teammates fail to show up for a raid — absolutely. Counting on colleagues is dicey, and if you are in a position of authority, counting on junior associates and trainees to do exactly what you want is an iffy proposition. And when you refer a client to one of your colleagues in another office, you are really taking a chance. That person screws up and you lose your client. You really can’t count on anyone.

Teammates leave everyone waiting — happens all the time. Responsiveness is a key factor in how a client judges legal counsel. And yet, your average lawyer is lazy, unresponsive, and unapologetic. Makes for some interesting apology sessions with clients.

Teammates log out in the middle of battle — gotta hate that. This happened to me last week. I was caught in the middle after promising a memo on Hong Kong legal issues to a U.S. client. Had to get a colleague in Hong Kong to do the work before I could pass it on to the U.S. client. What happened? The Hong Kong lawyer was apparently AFK and got me the memo several days late. I narrowly escaped being gored by a howling client.

Have you ever actually tried to be a lawyer? It’s like the freakin’ Stanford Prison Experiment in there, my friend. I have heard numerous colleagues over the years tell me that the job would be much better without the clients. To be fair, I’ve also heard clients say that lawyers suck and that they would much prefer a smart AI program with an extensive database that could spit out customized legal opinions upon request.

Perhaps we all deserve each other. Join me tomorrow when I will explain in detail how the partnership track in most big law firms bears a startling resemblance to the Stanley Milgram experiments.